Emotionless
by effie1
Summary: When Buffy is ripped out of heaven by her friends, who will be able to show her that there is still something to live for? BA
1. Prologue

Emotionless  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or anything else having to do with Buffy or Angel. Everything belongs to Joss and whoever else is involved in the show.  
  
A/N: Hey everyone! This is my first B/A fic, so please be gentle with the reviews. Hope you like..  
  
Summary: My summaries suck, the story is better.. After having being brought back from the dead, Buffy can't stand being around her friends anymore. She gives up on everything, including slaying. In an attempt to get her back on track the Scoobies send her to L.A. where hopefully the Fang Gang will be able to help her out.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Prologue  
  
Emotionless. Empty. Void of life. That was exactly how she felt. It was the only thing she felt, for exactly one month ago she had been ripped out of warmth, love, peace.heaven.  
  
Who could have done such a tortuous act? It surely must have been some awful, unearthly thing, but sadly it was the people who she had once loved and trusted the most who had preformed the spell. The spell that brought air back into her lungs and pumped blood to and from her heart, the very spell that had forced to claw her way out of the coffin that she had been laid to rest in.  
  
After the initial shock of being brought back to life and leaving the only place she had ever felt she truly belonged, a rush of emotions filled her body.  
  
The first was confusion.  
  
She had been away for only a couple of months but everything seemed so different, one thing being her house. The house that had once offered a feeling of security was now a constant reminder of all the pain she had had to endure when she was alive.  
  
Seeing her window reminded her of the pain she felt when Angel had walked out of her life, because every time she saw that window she saw all those nights, where he had snuck into her room just to see her, all the times she had been grounded and that, that window had been the only way to Angel's sweet lips. God how she missed those lips!  
  
Then of coarse there was her mother's room, which had been transformed into Tara and Willow's room. That reminded her of all the pain she had felt when her mother died. All the mourning and crying and helplessness.  
  
After the confusion came the anger and hate.  
  
Hate towards her so-called friends. They were the reason she was now living in hell. After being in heaven, after having experienced pure bliss Earth seemed like a fiery torment.  
  
She could not forgive them for committing such a selfish act! She wasn't even going to try. She didn't have that kind of strength in her. Just having to talk to them about basic things like Dawn made her nauseous.  
  
But after about a month of hating and loathing, a kind of numbness started to take hold of her. Everything that at the beginning had seemed too bright or too cold started to disappear. She got no warmth from anything or anyone. Not even Dawn.  
  
She never would have thought it possible that she would one day feel absolutely nothing for her once beloved sister. And it was at that exact moment that she just gave up.  
  
Gave up pretending to care, pretending to be fine, pretending to live.  
  
PLEASE REVIEW!!!! 


	2. They're coming?

A/N:I would just like to thank all of you who reviewed. They make me really happy, especially those who backed me up. You are the ones who motivated me to keep writing this fic. Listen, I know my spelling and grammar suck (as someone so eloquently put it) but I'm not used to writing in English so please give me a break! I'm trying to get better. I thought this site was supposed to support new writers. Constructive criticism is always welcome but flames are NOT. You don't like it just don't read it! Also I know Buffy is a little out of character, there's a purpose for that, she'll be back to normal soon enough. Don't worry. Oh and I'm getting to the B/A, I just need to build up to it.  
  
Important: For the sake of this story, the Scoobies and the A.I gang got close when Buffy died. They would help each other out more often, but when Buffy came back to life they got a little estranged (you'll find out why).  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Normal or funny shapes?" Tara asked as she poured pancake batter into the frying pan. "Doesn't matter I guess, whatever is fine with me." Dawn answered from her stool, elbows propped up on the counter, head resting in her hands. " Sure you don't have a preference? ' Cause my funny shapes are getting really, well funny!" Tara replied in a strained cheerful voice.  
  
Everyone in the house was kind of on edge. They had been ever since Buffy had come back. All of them, well except for Spike, had been trying their best to pretend that everything was fine. They kept telling themselves that Buffy's less than thrilled attitude at being back, and that was putting it mildly, was due to the after effects of being tortured for so long in a Hell dimension.  
  
None of them knew how to act around her, so they did the only thing they knew how to do. They pretended everything was fine, well maybe not fine but at least improving. Truth be told, deep down they knew that things weren't.  
  
Buffy never spoke except for the occasional laconic reply, rarely came out of her room and the latest development being the decline of hours she put into her slaying duties. Decline meaning complete lack of.  
  
Around a month ago, she spoke the longest sentence she had since her return. Basically saying that she wouldn't be slaying anything anytime soon due to extreme fatigue. (I know that this is out of character for Buffy but I need her to be this way for later events, one of them being getting her to A.I.)  
  
They of coarse all agreed to take over her duties for the time being. The Scooby's were just glad that she finally admitted that she wasn't fine and that something was wrong. That could be seen as improvement right?  
  
"Actually, I'm not that hungry Tara." Dawn mumbled. "But maybe Buffy is.maybe she'll come down to eat something?" Dawn said hopefully.  
  
Tara put down her spatula and sighed while turning to face the youngest of the Summers sisters.  
  
" Dawn, that's very thoughtful of you, but I think Buffy's too tired to come down this morning."  
  
"She's too tired * every * morning!" Dawn said sullenly.  
  
"Come on, that's not fair. Buffy has been through a lot, she just needs time and our support." Tara replied gently.  
  
" Maybe, but, I still don't think letting her sulk up in her room is the right answer either. She says she needs space and time, but if we give her any more space she may as well have stayed dead! Because I must say that we haven't exactly seen her that much more often than when she was. " And with that she stormed out of the kitchen, made her way upstairs and slammed the door to her room shut.  
  
"Oh Goddess, give us strength!" Tara prayed.  
  
~*~*~*~*  
  
Anger. That was what Dawn was feeling as she slammed the door to her room shut. She wasn't angry at Buffy, even though that's what it might have seemed like downstairs.  
  
She was upset with herself.for many reasons.  
  
She hated the fact that she was so useless, that she was unable to help Buffy in any way. She hated that she had just argued with Tara, someone she considered to be just as close as any sister.  
  
*I really need to go apologise . *  
  
But the thing that she hated the most out of the whole situation was that, even though Buffy was clearly in pain, she couldn't help but be happy that her sister was back and she hated herself for that.  
  
* I got to think of someway to make this better.there has to be something I can do to help Buffy, but what? *  
  
Just then the phone rang.  
  
"Hello" she answered.  
  
"Oh, hi Wesley! How are you?.I'm fine.No, Willow isn't here right now, I'll make sure to give her the message. If you don't mind me asking what do you need her for,I mean I haven't heard from you in a while, ever since.well in a while. You need help with a spell, what kind? .Ok let me just say way too much information and eww! . How are things over here? Well.there.fine, just great. Buffy? Oh she's loads better, yup, pretty much back to her old self again.You had another reason for calling? Why do you need Buffy's help in L.A. ? I don't know if that's such a good idea, you see maybe travelling isn't what Buffy should be doing right now.yes I know I said she was better, she is.it's just that.Angel already left? With a gun? Oh, G-U-N- N.who's he? Oh ok, but Wesley I don't think.Wesley?"  
  
* He hung up? Great! What am I going to do now? Angel's on his way here to pick up Buffy, in hope of getting some extra help for some kind of battle and all he's going to find is a Buffy who doesn't talk and hasn't even left her bed for the past month, except to go use the washroom. Great! Great! Great! *  
  
Dawn had now resorted to pacing back in forth, while hitting herself in the head occasionally.  
  
* Why did I have to say she was fine! I could have said that she was still recovering, even though it has been months. What am I going to do? Think Dawn,think! *  
  
MEANWHILE..  
  
In the room next door, a room that had not seen the light of day for months now, a pair of emerald green eyes lay open. Curled up on her bed under the covers, Buffy stayed motionless staring into nothing, even when she heard the slamming of a door.  
  
That was how she stayed all day, with the exception of going to the bathroom and occasional trip to the kitchen when they forced her to eat. If it were up to her she would never leave her little cocoon. She would stay there until she withered and died, but with her friends around that option was completely impossible. Someone was always there to remind her that she needed to eat something.  
  
The only other thing that Buffy did willingly except for lie around in bed was shower. She took to showering at least four times a day. It felt as though she was never clean enough. Just being on Earth made her dirty, what with all the sick and decaying energy in the air. The very smell of it was nauseating but to have to feel it on ones skin and to have to breath it in, in ones lungs, well that was just unacceptable.  
  
She would scrub and scrub until layers of skin would peel right off. It was only when she had drawn blood that she would be satisfied with her job, for that moment. A couple of hours later she would start to feel that familiar itch starting again and she would head straight for the shower.  
  
It was her routine.  
  
A soft knock at the door pulled her out of her reverie.  
  
"Buffy?" she heard Dawn ask from outside. "Are you awake?"  
  
* She probably wants me to come down and eat, maybe if I don't answer she'll think I'm still asleep and leave me alone.*  
  
"Buffy?" she heard again, this time as her bedroom door was opening .  
  
She let out a small sigh and turned over to face her sister.  
  
"What is it Dawn?" she asked rather irritably.  
  
Dawn just stood there, biting her lip and rocking on her heals.  
  
"Well?" Buffy questioned again.  
  
"Well you see I ..umm.I just wanted to tell you that Wesley called. You know to see how things were going." Dawn replied in a shaky voice.  
  
Buffy just nodded and waited for Dawn to leave, but she just stood there.  
  
"Thanks for telling me" She tried.  
  
She even offered her sister a weak smile but Dawn just stood there looking extremely nervous. Buffy knew that look, that was the look that Dawn always had when she was struggling with her conscience. Deciding if she should confess something or not. And Buffy's usual response to that was to grill her sister with questions until she caved, but she was too tired for that right now.  
  
" Dawn I'm really tired so if that's all I'm going to go back to sleep. " She said while turning her back to Dawn and pretending to sleep.  
  
Slowly, Dawn turned around to leave and headed for the door.  
  
* Wait I have to tell her. * Dawn thought.  
  
Just as she turned around to face her sister, she heard a loud banging coming from the front door accompanied by the doorbell ringing multiple times.  
  
* Oh God! They're here.*  
  
PLEASE REVIEW.. 


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